25 Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Quotes to Make You Laugh

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Recalling the one-of-a-kind sitcom with these Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt quotes.

The series Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt was a roller coaster ride of laughter and weirdness.

The story is about Kimmy Schmidt, a girl abducted and confined in an underground bunker along with 3 other girls for 15 years. They were led to believe that the world ended, and they are the only survivors of a catastrophic nuclear meltdown.

The girls were eventually rescued after so many years of isolation. This ecstatic situation started the chain of drama and dilemma for Kimmy and the others.

The giddy atmosphere and unique storytelling of this series captivated thousands of fans across America and left them wanting for more even as the series ends.

These Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt quotes will give you a shot of nostalgia and fun as you read along.

Don’t forget to also check out these House of Cards quotes from the iconic show.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt quotes from Lillian Kaushtupper

1. “Hey, can I borrow a cup of flour? Some white kids outside want cocaine…” — Lillian Kaushtupper

2. “Wish me lick! You heard me.” — Lillian Kaushtupper

3. “I was breaking into the Fed naked with ‘OPEC’ written on me in pig’s blood before you were even a twinkle in the eye of the dog that mounted your mom.” — Lillian Kaushtupper

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt quotes from Titus Andromedon

4. “This musical is going to be a lop. which is a flop which couldn’t give an F.” — Titus Andromedon

5. “Last night after a box of key lime wine and some shame-spiraling, I decided to give all my Barbies perms. Some of them don’t have the face for it.” — Titus Andromedon

6. “I should have been a doctor. I look amazing in white, my handwriting is terrible, and I love telling people to take their pants off and just leaving and then making them sit there for an hour.” — Titus Andromedon

7. “Don’t thank her, you are rich now, and rich people can do whatever we want.” ― Titus Andromedon

8. “I’m an actor, I can act like I got strong.” ― Titus Andromedon

9. “Dream inspired by true events.” ― Titus Andromedon

10. “I once went to an open audition and it was just a bum fight.” — Titus Andromedon

11. “Black, gay and old? I’m not gonna know which box to check on the hate crime form.” — Titus Andromedon

12. “Ugh, that crown I got for being prom king was so tacky I hardly even wear it anymore.” — Titus Andromedon

13. “I am a prickly gay man. And not just because I fell into a cactus while stealing apples from a botanical garden.” — Titus Andromedon

14. “Girl, you need to stop, drop and roll. by which I mean stop talking, drop the subject and get me a cinnamon roll.” — Titus Andromedon

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt quotes from Kimmy Schmidt

15. “Someone just put the ‘neato’ in incognito!” — Kimmy Schmidt

16. “All burps smell bad. They’re the farts of the face.” — Kimmy Schmidt

17. “How do you choose between fancy and fun?” ― Kimmy Schmidt

18. “That dress is going to be the party on my body that everyone is invited to.” ― Kimmy Schmidt

19. “Don’t worry, the wedding is indoors. So if it rains and melts, the candy won’t attract bees.” ― Kimmy Schmidt

20. “Titus’ man purse is gonna be all over you.” ― Kimmy Schmidt

21. “I wish I had your quick wit.” ― Kimmy Schmidt

22. “The entire time I was in the bunker, I had a whole other book I didn’t even know about. 100 books actually cause it’s a pick your own journey, where you can decide how the stories go.” ― Kimmy Schmidt

23. “Fredrick, you just can’t start talking about normal in that cartoon fox Robinhood accent. You know it gets my motor going.” ― Kimmy Schmidt

24. “Oh, the chompers are out. How about this move? It’s called the fish hook.” ― Kimmy Schmidt

25. “I wouldn’t change a thing. The end.” ― Kimmy Schmidt

Which of these Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt quotes is your favorite?

This series shows us the vulnerability of life and how important it is to experience it to the fullest.

Kimmy Schmidt is a girl who experienced extreme isolation and wanted to connect with the world.

And she learned to find joy again in life, she found a crazy wild adventure with friends and people who truly mattered.

No matter how light or how comedic this series is, there’s no denying how much it appeals to our internal self.

Despite being isolated for over a decade, Kimmy experienced life and became freer than most people around her.

So let these Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt quotes and sayings be a fun and exciting reminder of how this show made our worries feel a little lighter.


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