Brenda Edwards broke down in tears as she emotionally reflected on being with her son Jamal when he tragically passed away.
The Loose Women panelist, 54, tearfully described the moment her music producer son died at the age of 31 as ‘gut-wrenching’.
Jamal, who gained fame from setting up new music platform SB.TV which helped to launch Ed Sheeran’s career, died from a cardiac arrest on February 20, 2022.
Brenda opened up about his devastating death and her struggles with grief on Ashley Cain’s MTV show Faces, emotionally sharing that she was with her son when he died.
She spoke about the news of Jamal’s death being shared online just hours after his death, admitting she will never get over the ‘anger’ she felt at the announcement being taken away from her.
Grief: Brenda Edwards broke down in tears as she emotionally reflected on being with her son Jamal when he tragically passed away
Death: Jamal, who gained fame from setting up new music platform SB.TV which helped to launch Ed Sheeran’s career, died from a cardiac arrest on February 20, 2022
Speaking on the episode, which is set to air at midday, she said: ‘I was with Jamal when he passed, me and his sister and I can say he was so peaceful but it was a gut-wrenching moment for me.’
Brenda broke down in tears and had to pause filming as she and Ashley – whose daughter Azaylia died at eight months old in 2021 – became overcome with emotion.
The former X Factor star went on to speak about the news of Jamal’s death being circulated on social media before she was able to put out an announcement.
Brenda admitted she was ‘very angry’ after seeing the news had broken on social media and said she doesn’t think she will ever come to terms with the ‘disrespect’.
She continued: ‘The one thing I didn’t like was the announcement of him passing was taken away from me. I think people should have just had that respect for him and for me.
‘That’s nobody else’s business, when I want to say whatever I want to say, then I should be able and I have the right to be announcing that. But that was taken out of my hands.
‘I was angry, very angry. It’s a shame because it took away from that moment of my grief to “who did that?”‘ It wasn’t even 24 hours. This was on the same night, it’s like 5-6 hours afterwards.
‘I can’t process this because social media is going crazy. That was a bit of disrespect I don’t think I’ll ever come to terms with.’
Emotional: The Loose Women panelist, 54, tearfully described the moment her music producer son died at the age of 31 as ‘gut-wrenching’
Memories: She also shared that she is very ‘grateful’ for the time she got to spend with her son but said the ‘beautiful but sad thing about life’ is never having enough time
Brenda, who also has a daughter Tanisha, said she doesn’t know if the person who started the social media conversation realises how hurtful it was to her.
Her comments came ahead of her marking the one-year anniversary of Jamal’s passing in February, and Brenda spoke about the emotional occasion on the show.
She said: ‘I can’t believe it’s been a year, as much as I’m pinching myself, I still feel what I felt almost a year ago.
‘I don’t know if it’s because I was with him when he passed that I just have those thoughts and those visions and so, maybe I’m keeping myself busy and keeping my mind doing other things, so it’s not thinking about those thoughts.’
Speaking about her battle with grief, Brenda said she is ‘grateful’ for the support network around her but said she has had to tell her loved ones not to ask her how she is every day.
She said: ‘I’m just very grateful that I have a very great support network around me and they’re there and I’ve kind of said don’t ask me how I am because that makes you go to a certain place but just know, if I need you then I know you’re there.
‘”How are you today?” How do you think I am? I don’t want to offend people by saying “well how do you think I feel?” It’s like going into a singing competition and you lose and they say “how does that make you feel?” I’m gutted, of course I’m gutted, I wanted to win!
‘But I don’t want to be always saying how I feel because I’ve got to deal with and process it in my own way, a lot of my friends just understand.’
She went on to say that she is often asked by people how she manages to stay strong and smile every day, but Brenda said she has to stay strong for her adult daughter Tanisha.
The TV presenter also admitted that Jamal wouldn’t want her to be unhappy all the time but would want her to keep enjoying her life.
‘I refuse to be down all the time because [Jamal] wouldn’t like that,’ she said.
Upset: She also spoke about the news of Jamal’s death being shared on social media just hours after his death, admitting she will never get over the ‘anger’ she felt
‘And I’ve still got my daughter there, I have to stay strong for her, she has to stay strong for me, we’re staying strong for each other.’
Brenda, who lost both of her parents in a car crash at the age of four, said she is still ‘constantly’ sad about losing Jamal and said she knows the grief will never leave her.
She also shared that she is very ‘grateful’ for the time she got to spend with her son but said the ‘beautiful but sad thing about life’ is never having enough time.
FACES hosted by Ashley Cain goes live on Thursdays weekly on YouTube. This week’s episode features Brenda Edwards.