Matt Willis admits he’s ‘always worried about relapse’ as opens up on addiction

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Matt Willis has admitted that he’s ‘always worried about relapse’ as he opened up about his drink and drug addiction.

The Busted star, 40, is set to bare his soul in a new documentary about his addiction battle having struggled to stay sober for most of his life after being catapulted to fame at age 19.

And speaking to Lorraine, Matt detailed that he has ‘certain things’ he does to help him with his continued recovery and confessed he felt ‘selfish’ for prioritising himself and making sure that he wasn’t tempted to reach for drink or drugs again.

Speaking on Wednesday’s Lorraine, Matt said he worried about relapsing on the upcoming Busted tour after previously relapsing during the band’s last reunion in 2016.

He said: ‘I’m always a bit worried about relapsing, it’s a chronically relapsing thing addiction.

Fears: Matt Willis has admitted that he’s ‘always worried about relapse’ as he opened up about his drink and drug addiction

‘I have certain things in place every day which I do which I’m very, very particular about and I feel like I have to be. I felt quite selfish at times because it’s my main priority. But then without that, everything else falls to piece.’

He added of bandmates James Bourne and Charlie Simpson: ‘Luckily the boys are amazing and they love me and want me to be well. And we have a job to do so it’s in everyone’s interest for me to not be wrecked.

‘I feel good about that right now, everything is in a good place with Busted right now.’

Meanwhile, while Busted have shown support for the rocker, so too has his wife Emma Willis, though Matt admitted that she was reluctant to film the documentary. 

He told Lorraine Kelly of his wife: ‘Emma took some talking to to get involved with this because we’ve been quite private with our lives and never really opened up before. 

‘I felt like that was such a powerful part to it, it was kind of like, she went through everything with me and stuck by me through everything and a lot of people at times told her not to. 

‘But he saw something in me and she knew she could help and she did massively.’ 

He went on to discuss the moment where he and Emma, 2008, met up with other addicts and loved ones for the film.

Open: The Busted star, 40, is set to bare his soul in a new documentary about his addiction battle having struggled to stay sober for most of his life after being catapulted to fame at age 19

Open: The Busted star, 40, is set to bare his soul in a new documentary about his addiction battle having struggled to stay sober for most of his life after being catapulted to fame at age 19

Tough: Matt detailed that he has 'certain things' he does to help him with his continued recovery and confessed he felt 'selfish' for prioritising himself and making sure that he wasn't tempted to reach for drink or drugs again

Tough: Matt detailed that he has ‘certain things’ he does to help him with his continued recovery and confessed he felt ‘selfish’ for prioritising himself and making sure that he wasn’t tempted to reach for drink or drugs again

He said: ‘That was an amazing experience. Emma’s never done anything like that before and she was really nervous.

‘But she resonated with everything that everyone said, and that’s for the loved ones of people with addiction.

‘That’s the forgotten tale because everything’s always about the addict, and that is important because then you get clean, but then the effect that that has on the people that love them is so massive.’

It comes after Matt opened up about his ‘really sad’ battle with drugs and alcohol in a new interview.

Speaking to Radio Times about his addiction, he admitted: ‘Addicts are very good at hiding everything. I’m yet to meet a stupid addict. They’re conniving and manipulative.

Worried: Speaking on Wednesday’s Lorraine, Matt said he worried about relapsing on the upcoming Busted tour after previously relapsing during the band’s last reunion in 2016

Fame game: The rose to fame with his band Busted when he was just 19 (Pictured with bandmates Charlie Simpson and James Bourne in 2004)

Fame game: The rose to fame with his band Busted when he was just 19 (Pictured with bandmates Charlie Simpson and James Bourne in 2004)

There for him: 'Luckily the boys are amazing and they love me and want me to be well. And we have a job to do so it's in everyone's interest for me to not be wrecked'

There for him: ‘Luckily the boys are amazing and they love me and want me to be well. And we have a job to do so it’s in everyone’s interest for me to not be wrecked’

‘It’s not rock ‘n’ roll. It wasn’t glamorous, it was really sad.’

In his early 20s the singer said couldn’t get to lunchtime without drugs or alcohol.  

Later, on the 2017 tour, he ‘was doing six grams (of cocaine) on my own every day and not coming home until three in the morning’ – a month after he started taking the drug again.

Matt has made a documentary Fighting Addiction with the BBC, due to be released on May 17. 

He said that making the documentary had made him realise the impact his addiction was having on Emma, who would often break down in tears over fears he could relapse.   

Support: Meanwhile, while Busted have shown support for the rocker, so too has his wife Emma Willis, though Matt admitted that she was reluctant to film the documentary

Support: Meanwhile, while Busted have shown support for the rocker, so too has his wife Emma Willis, though Matt admitted that she was reluctant to film the documentary

Partnership: 'I felt like that was such a powerful part to it, it was kind of like, she went through everything with me and stuck by me through everything and a lot of people at times told her not to'

Partnership: ‘I felt like that was such a powerful part to it, it was kind of like, she went through everything with me and stuck by me through everything and a lot of people at times told her not to’

Chat: 'That's the forgotten tale because everything's always about the addict, and that is important because then you get clean, but then the effect that that has on the people that love them is so massive'

Chat: ‘That’s the forgotten tale because everything’s always about the addict, and that is important because then you get clean, but then the effect that that has on the people that love them is so massive’

‘It was hard for me to see how much that fear was still prevalent for her,’ Willis says, before adding that the documentary made the couple ‘realise that we still had some talking to do’.  

Matt previously shared some of the harsh realities from his drug addiction battle and the toll it took on his relationship with his wife.

The star candidly admitted he would ‘gaslight’ Emma into thinking she was crazy during the height of his addiction struggles.

During heavy binges Matt revealed he even left notes saying he was ‘sorry’ to his now wife, when he was convinced he wouldn’t wake up the next day.

In an interview with the Guardian, Matt spoke about the ‘nights when he thought he’d gone too far, that he’d drunk too much and taken too many drugs’.

Matt said he would leave notes for his wife, in case he didn’t wake up. ‘Saying sorry,’ he says. In the morning, he’d find the note before she did and throw it away.

Matt Willis has shared some of the harsh realities from his drug addiction battle and the toll it took on his relationship with his wife Emma Willis

Matt Willis has shared some of the harsh realities from his drug addiction battle and the toll it took on his relationship with his wife Emma Willis

The documentary touches on how Matt’s addiction affected Emma, who is a popular TV presenter and the mother of his three children.

Emma began keeping track of Matt’s drinking and drug-taking by writing a diary, admitting she was scared that he would eventually take his life.

Reflecting on how it damaged their relationship he says: ‘[Part of the recovery process] is you make amends to people you’ve hurt. I never did that with Emma; I don’t think I ever can. I think the way I choose to do it is to be this guy, every day.

‘When she notices something, I take it on board and listen, and I don’t argue. I go: “You feel that way; that means that I am doing something, that’s not in your head.” Because I was the mastermind at gaslighting, making her think she was crazy. I’m so ashamed of that, and I never want her to feel like that again.’



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