Pete Davidson talks PTSD, self harm and critics who think he talks about his ‘dead dad all the time’

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Pete Davidson is opening up about the impact his father’s tragic death continues to have on his mental health.

In an interview on the Real Ones With Jon Bernthal podcast, the former Saturday Night Live star talked about getting past some of the public perceptions of himself, which includes being ‘the guy who talks about his dead dad all the time.’

Davidson’s father, Scott Davidson, was a firefighter who died in the World Trade Center on 9/11 when the comedian and actor was just seven-years-old. 

‘It’s like, I made two jokes about my dad in a span of like 15 years. To act like I’m like this, “feel bad for me,” it’s such bulls*** and it makes me feel so small and s****y,” he said of his critics, adding, ‘I’m trying to share little jokes here and there about him because I like to keep that memory alive. My dad was a great dude. Like, why is that a problem? I get defensive, that’s my family.’

As the conversation went on he broached some other real personal subjects like his experience with PTSD, seemingly in the wake of his father’s tragic death, self-harm and borderline personality disorder. 

Open book: Pete Davidson, 29, got real and addressed public perceptions of himself, which includes the critics who call him 'the guy who talks about his dead dad all the time'

Open book: Pete Davidson, 29, got real and addressed public perceptions of himself, which includes the critics who call him ‘the guy who talks about his dead dad all the time’

Family tragedy: Davidson's father, Scott Davidson, was a New York firefighter who died in the World Trade Center on 9/11 when the comedian and actor was just seven-years-old

Family tragedy: Davidson’s father, Scott Davidson, was a New York firefighter who died in the World Trade Center on 9/11 when the comedian and actor was just seven-years-old

He went on to share that he’s only now ‘getting better’ at realizing he can’t please everyone or fix every misconception out there about him, all while still ‘getting used to the feeling of happiness.’

‘The only thing you can control is who you have around you, what you put your energy in to, who loves you, and who you love back,’ he explained to Bernthal in a backyard interview. ‘It’s a weird thing for me to even grasp now because I’ve lived in discomfort for so long where that became comfortable. So now I actually have people around me now that love me, and it’s weird. That’s a whole new thing I never thought of. It’s weird being happy.’

In recent days, Davidson said he revealed to his girl [Chase Sui Wonders] and friends that he was ‘feeling f***ing weird and something’s wrong,’ yet nothing was wrong in his life at that moment.

‘I believe like everyone’s struggle is big to them. I was just like crying. I’m always feeling like the walls close in or something going to be ripped out,’ he told the host.

Unanswered questions, like that, are some stressors he’s trying to tackle while working with a psychologist.

‘I’ve been doing a lot of therapy, trauma therapy, to figure out why – there’s obvious reasons why with the PTSD from childhood,’ he said in a reference to the loss of his father, who had told him he would pick him up from school on September 11, 2001, but it was his mother who ended up being the one who ended up taking him home.

The Staten Island, New York native revealed he only found out his father had died when he turned on the television and the news reported the deaths of firefighters, several weeks after the attack on the World Trade Center. 

Davidson explained that he and his therapist ‘agreed that a lot of it [the trauma] stems from the fact that his father had told him would pick him up on 9/11.’

Making the case: 'It's like, I made two jokes about my dad in a span of like 15 years. To act like I'm like this, "feel bad for me," it's such bulls*** and it makes me feel so small and s****y," the former SNL star said of his critics on Real Ones With Jon Bernthal

Making the case: ‘It’s like, I made two jokes about my dad in a span of like 15 years. To act like I’m like this, “feel bad for me,” it’s such bulls*** and it makes me feel so small and s****y,” the former SNL star said of his critics on Real Ones With Jon Bernthal

Revealing: As the conversation went on he broached some other real personal subjects like his experience with PTSD, seemingly in the wake of his father's tragic death, self-harm and borderline personality disorder

Revealing: As the conversation went on he broached some other real personal subjects like his experience with PTSD, seemingly in the wake of his father’s tragic death, self-harm and borderline personality disorder

Growing: The comedian says he's only now 'getting better' at realizing he can't please everyone or fix every misconception out there about him

Happy feelings: Davidson told Bernthal he's still 'getting used to the feeling of happiness'

Working though issues: The Staten Island native shared that he’s been working on his issues of abandonment in therapy, which he thinks stems from his dad not picking him up on 9/11, like he had promised

At a certain point, he acknowledged the strength his mother had in dealing with the not knowing whether her husband was alive or not, and then the realization that he was in fact dead, at a time when his mom was ‘only just about to be 30’ with two kids.

‘I wouldn’t know what the f**k to do. That’s why as I get older I’m like, “Man, my mom was awesome…  f**k that was rough. Nobody knew the right way to deal with it,’ he added. ‘Whether or not it’s right or wrong, it still f***s a kid up.”‘

Along with the PTSD, Davidson confessed he also suffers with BPD (borderline personality disorder), which he says is defined as ‘the fear of abandonment.’

‘So, dad says he’s coming to pick you up and he doesn’t, for life I’m just like, “I don’t believe anyone, and I’m trying to learn to believe people. And Hollywood isn’t exactly the greatest place to learn that skill, he continued. ‘I went from traumatic life to […] high school traumatic life, because Hollywood’s like high school.’

Along with his trust issues, Davidson said he’s also trying to find ways to overcome self harm, which he’s been doing since childhood.

‘I used to like cut, up until like a year ago, I used to cut. I used to bang my head against walls,’ he admitted. ‘If I couldn’t deal with something — if someone told me something sad or something I couldn’t deal with I would bang my head against the wall, hoping I’d pass out because I didn’t want to be in that situation because I couldn’t handle that.’

He explained that those feelings have become less and less over ‘years and years’ with the help of skills derived from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). Some of the alternatives to self harm include taking cold showers, listening to your favorite music or just do ‘anything else’ when those self destructive impulses arise.

‘That feeling most of the time goes away after 15-20 minutes,’ he said, adding, ‘I had to learn that if one little thing isn’t going the right way, that doesn’t mean the whole ship sinks.’

Self harm: Davidson also addressed how he used to harm himself through cutting and banging his head against walls

Self harm: Davidson also addressed how he used to harm himself through cutting and banging his head against walls

Traumatizing: The Staten Island, New York native revealed he only found out his father had died when he turned on the television and the news reported the deaths of firefighters, several weeks after the attack on the World Trade Center

Traumatizing: The Staten Island, New York native revealed he only found out his father had died when he turned on the television and the news reported the deaths of firefighters, several weeks after the attack on the World Trade Center

Discoveries: Davidson explained that he and his therapist 'agreed that a lot of it [the trauma] stems from the faRevelation: ct that his father had told him would pick him up on 9/11'

Discoveries: Davidson explained that he and his therapist ‘agreed that a lot of it [the trauma] stems from the faRevelation: ct that his father had told him would pick him up on 9/11’

Davidson also shared about his dating life during in-depth interview released on Patreon.

He was stumped over the public’s interest in his personal life and high-profile relationships.

‘I think what happened was I became more known before the work was there. But I was always working… Look, I’m in my 20s and I’ve dated people and for some reason that is very crazy and interesting to people,’ Pete said while wearing a grey beanie and hoodie for his interview. 

‘I don’t think it’s that interesting. I’ve been in show business for half my life almost, for like 14, 15 years, and on a national TV show. And in 12 years, I’ve dated like 10 people, I don’t really think that’s that crazy,’ he said. ‘But to some people it seems very interesting.’

Davidson added that it was ‘confusing’ because he was not on social media ‘flexing’ about his dating life.

Stumped: Davidson also opened up about his dating life during an in-depth interview

Stumped: Davidson also opened up about his dating life during an in-depth interview

Serial dater accusations: 'I don't think it's that interesting. I've been in show business for half my life almost, for like 14, 15 years, and on a national TV show. And in 12 years, I've dated like 10 people, I don't really think that's that crazy,' Davidson told Bernthal of his dating life

Serial dater accusations: ‘I don’t think it’s that interesting. I’ve been in show business for half my life almost, for like 14, 15 years, and on a national TV show. And in 12 years, I’ve dated like 10 people, I don’t really think that’s that crazy,’ Davidson told Bernthal of his dating life

‘These people that I’ve dated, like I’ve met them at work. Like, I wasn’t in anyone’s DMs, no one was in mine. …I worked at one of the five Hollywood epicenters where you meet people. And that’s just who I was working with and who I was around,’ Pete said.

The funnyman went on to say that he was thrown into the ‘zeitgeist’, but everything spoken about him had ‘zero to do with the work.’

‘And that is a really s***ty feeling,’ he added.

Davidson was a cast member on NBC’s Saturday Night Live for eight seasons from 2014 until 2022.

Kim Kardashian, 42, and Pete started dating in October 2021 after the reality star appeared on Saturday Night Live and they shared an on-screen kiss together.

Ariana Grande, 29, was the host and musical guest on a March 2016 episode of Saturday Night Live and she started dating The King of Staten Island star in May 2018. he would confirm in June 2018 that they were engaged, but they called it off in October 2018.

Davidson also has dated comedian Carly Aquilino; Cazzie David, daughter of Larry David; actress Kate Beckinsale, Margaret Qualley, Kaia Gerber, Phoebe Dynevor and Emily Ratajkowski. He lately has been dating Chase Sui Wonders.

The New York City native told Bernthal that he was trying to grow into the man he wants to be while being watched.

High-profile romance: Kim Kardashian, 42, and Davidson, shown in May 2022 in NYC, started dating in October 2021 after the reality star appeared on Saturday Night Live and they shared an on-screen kiss together

High-profile romance: Kim Kardashian, 42, and Davidson, shown in May 2022 in NYC, started dating in October 2021 after the reality star appeared on Saturday Night Live and they shared an on-screen kiss together

Formerly engaged: Ariana Grande, 29, was the host and musical guest on a March 2016 episode of Saturday Night Live and she started dating the comedian  in May 2018 (shown in August 2018)

Formerly engaged: Ariana Grande, 29, was the host and musical guest on a March 2016 episode of Saturday Night Live and she started dating the comedian  in May 2018 (shown in August 2018)

Davidson can next be seen in the comedy-drama film Dumb Money that chronicles the GameStop short squeeze in January 2021.

Dumb Money by director Craig Gillespie also stars Paul Dano, Sebastian Stan and Seth Rogen and is scheduled to be released in theaters on October 20 by Stage 6 Films and Sony Pictures Releasing.

The Former Walking Dead star launched his Real Ones podcast in February 2022.

An excerpt of the interview was posted on YouTube with the whole interview available for members of the Real Ones Patreon community.

Real talk: The Walking Dead alum launched his Real Ones podcast in February 2022

Real talk: The Walking Dead alum launched his Real Ones podcast in February 2022

Pete Davidson’s relationship history

Carly Aquilino (2014–2015)

Prior to his rise to fame on Saturday Night Live, Pete dated Carly when they starred together on MTV’s Guy Code and Girl Code. Although the romance didn’t work out, Pete and Carly stayed friends and he later described her as ‘one of the coolest chicks I’ve ever met’ and said they still ‘hang out all the time’ following the split. 

 

Cazzie David (2016–2018) 

 

Pete dated Cazzie, who is the daughter of comedian Larry David, for two years and made several public appearances together. He went on to date Ariana Grande soon after they parted ways.

 Following their break up, Cazzie penned a emotional essay About Their Breakup, in which he revealed Pete ended things via text.  

Ariana Grande (2018)

In the same month he split from Cazzie, Pete began dating singer Ariana. The relationship progressed quickly and the couple were engaged after only a matter of weeks. They broke up in November, with Pete admitting he ‘knew it was over’ after Ariana was left grieving the death of her ex-boyfriend Mac Miller. Ariana later mentioned Pete in her hit single ‘Thank U, Next’.

 

Kate Beckinsale (2019)

 

Pete then moved on with actress Kate Beckinsale, who was twenty years his senior. They were first linked with that January and dated until at least April. Pete admitted the age difference ‘never bothered’ the couple. A source told In Touch that Pete was ‘an exciting breath of fresh air’ for Kate.

Margaret Qually (2019) 

Shortly after parting ways with Kate, Pete was linked to actress Margaret Qually. A source told Us: ‘They’ve been seeing each other for a couple of months and Margaret is really excited about him.’ It didn’t appear to be a serious romance however, with the pair reportedly dating for just two months between August and October 2019. 

 

Kaia Gerber (2019–2020)

 

Pete quickly moved on from Margaret to date model Kaia Gerber, who is the daughter of Cindy Crawford. The pair were seen holding hands a few times but the whirlwind romance came to an end after just three months in January 2020. 

Shortly after he sought treatment at Sierra Tucson treatment center in Arizona.  

When asked about their split during an interview with Charlamagne Tha God, he confirmed they dated ‘for a few months’ but said she was ‘very young’ and he was going ‘through a lot.’ 

Phoebe Dynevor (2021)

Bridgerton star Phoebe and Pete confirmed their romance in April 2021 when they were spotted on a stroll in Stoke. 

Rumours were swirling in about their relationship status in weeks before the sighting. A source told People that Pete is ‘telling friends he is serious about Phoebe’. 

Speculation of the relationship began in March when Pete was snapped visiting Phoebe’s native Manchester while she visited New York, where he lives, in February. 

In August, they broke up after trying to make things work long distance ‘put a strain’ on their relationship. 

 

Kim Kardashian (2021–2022)

 

The spark of Pete’s relationship with Kim Kardashian began when they kissed on camera during her hosting debut on SNL in October 2021.

The couple had secretive meetings through the rest of the year, including private dinners and a trip to a movie after Pete rented out a theater at his favorite multiplex on Staten Island.

The lovebirds went red carpet official in 2022 and were practically inseparable, with Pete eventually appearing on her new reality series The Kardashians.

But the two were the subject of harassing social media posts from Kim’s ex Kanye West through much of their relationship.

Although the two had appeared as loved-up as ever, they were reported to have split on August 5 after being kept apart by their disparate work schedules.

Emily Ratajkowski (2022) 

Pete and Emily were originally linked in November 2022 after being photographed at a New York Knicks basketball game together. 

The outing occured several months after both stars got out of long-term relationships. Pete had just broken up with Kim Kardashian after nine months together, and Emily had just parted from her husband of four years, Sebastian Bear-McClard. 

During their short and sweet courtship, the pair were seen on outings in New York City several times. 

Neither star officially confirmed the relationship, but a source close to Pete said the two were ‘seeing each other.’ 

After the short fling of less than two months, the romance fizzled out, and they returned to the ‘friend zone.’   

Chase Sui (2023-)

 Only a few weeks after ending his short romance with Emily, Pete was seen laying massive PDA on his Bodies Bodies Bodies costar Chase Sui. 

He was reportedly already seen on outings with Chase by the time news of his breakup with Emily had come out.

The pair have been spotted in public locking lips several times, including at a Brooklyn Whole Foods and a New York Rangers game.

Despite the public displays of affection, the possible couple has denied any relationship rumors.

The former SNL star seemed to be in the throws of a hot and heavy new romance as he spent the day with Chase at the beach in Hawaii. 

They spent their time in the water as well as kissing on lounge chairs in the sand.  



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